1. Inventory without the vendor tour
Native, JS, and ANR streams. What your Crash Analytics Monitoring project is actually ingesting, including the events nobody named in the runbook.
Flagship
Crash Grouping Studio
Eight week-nights. You leave with a grouping charter your on-call rota can argue with. Crash Analytics Monitoring is the material, not the product pitch.
Modules
2. Fingerprints that survive a hotfix
Frames that move, messages that localise, and the custom keys worth adding. Homework is a 40-group dump with intentional duplicates.
3. Breadcrumbs with a budget
Which trails are causal and which are merely nearby in time. You delete half of a sample trail on purpose.
4. Symbol maps after the night build
Missing mapping files, partial uploads, and why grouping quality collapses for 36 hours after a Friday ship.
5. Sampling without hiding a launch
Class-level sample rates and a written exception list. GB evening traffic is in the dataset.
6. Paging keys
When a new group is a page and when it is a Monday note. Pair debate, then a freeze-frame exercise.
7. Release health without flattery
Crash-free sessions with device and OS cohorts. A short lab on 5% rollouts.
8. Charter clinic
You submit a one-pager. A tutor marks contradictions. Optional Easington Lane day repeats the clinic in person.
Outcomes
You can explain why two stacks are the same defect. You can tell product which fatal classes are fully captured. You can refuse a 03:00 page that is only a new locale string. You will not become a platform team of one.
Informational fee
Night-shift desk £640. Watch rota (studio plus private walkthrough) £1,180. No checkout on this site — write first.
Instructor
Rowan Hale taught on-call for a UK fintech before the studio. Rowan still reads crash queues one morning a week so the dumps stay unkind and current.
Questions we actually get
Do you teach a specific Crash Analytics Monitoring vendor?
No. Exports are anonymised CSV and JSON. If your tool cannot export, say so before week one — we will tell you honestly if the desk is a poor fit.
What is the real limitation?
We do not take your production project and “tune it” as a service. Homework uses our dumps unless you pay for Watch rota redaction. People who want a consultant to sit in their Slack will be disappointed; that is not what the fee buys.
Is the Easington Lane day required?
No. Remote seats follow the same reading order. The day is extra conversation, not extra content.
From people who finished it
Week two’s duplicate dump was petty and correct. I still reopen old tickets out of habit, but the charter sits next to the paging policy now.
★★★★★
Symbol-map night (module 4) is the reason our Friday ships no longer look like a new crash storm on Saturday. Rowan talks too fast when tired. Bring tea.